My Abuser Knows Where I live, but as the Victim I am Not Given that Right!

Do I not have the right to minimise the risk to myself and my children? Why can’t I know where my Sex Offender has been relocated upon release? Why can’t I have the right to protect myself?

Upon my fathers release from prison, I was / and still am not allowed to know where he is located.

I have been told repeatedly that this is sensitive information and that there is ‘no reason’ for me to know.  That I could bump into him anywhere and so what will knowing actually do for me…

Well, this man is a high-profile sex offender whom controlled every aspect of my life, right up until the day he was arrested.  Not only the horrific sexual abuse, he would stalk me, he would track me and even worse as I found out when he was arrested, he had placed transmitters into plug sockets (a device so that he could record my conversations even when he wasn’t there).

Therefore, I think I have a right to avoid the vicinity in which he is currently living, I would make sure that I minimised the risk to myself and my children, by not visiting or unknowingly entering into the home town of where he lives.

Do I not have the right to feel a little bit safe and that I am at least trying to safeguard myself and my family? Can I not even have that, now that he is free into the society…

Clare’s Law: The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) is often called ‘Clare’s Law’ after the landmark case that led to it. Clare’s Law gives any member of the public the right to ask the police if their partner may pose a risk to them.

Sarah’s Law: What is the child sex offender disclosure scheme? The child sex offender disclosure scheme in England and Wales (also sometimes known as “Sarah’s Law”), allows anyone to formally ask the police if someone with access to a child has a record for child sexual offences. So therefore if Pete across the road is acting suspicious and I want to safeguard my children, under Sarah’s Law I can make that written disclosure and the police can if they consider it in the best interests for safeguarding disclose that information in confidence.

If Pete across the road has access to my children and something isn’t sitting right, and I want to safeguard my children, I formally make a written disclosure, to which the police will consider if it is in the best interests for safeguarding, to release that information in confidence.

So because my father is not living opposite me (yet!), I am not able to access this information of location, and yet my father, the high-profile sex offender was not Pete down the road, he was the man who was supposed to protect me, he was the man who I was supposed to love unconditionally, the role model for myself and what should have been for my children.

So where is my law to the right to ask the police where my Sexual Abuser is living? I don’t want his house number, address and postcode, simply the vicinity is enough, so I can minimise risk and safeguard a little.

Let’s also consider, that my father was placed on licencing conditions to not enter near my home, therefore he was released information of my vicinity in order to know not to breach his licencing conditions!! So my father was allowed the information, that I, the victim am not allowed!?

I have spent months trying to obtain this information, my Victim Liaison Officer recognising my frustration and concerns, but not having the information. The days spent on the phone to the National Offenders Helpline, whom never answers.  The calls to the Witness Care Team, who at the beginning of the call were bemused by my wanting to know where an offender is now living, to then realising the seriousness and understanding again my frustration and concerns, but not having access to the information.  The access is only via his Probation Officer and the Officer in the Case.  Having spoken to the Officer in the Case, though she has since left this line of work, and moved into Fraud, again could not supply this information.  Calls to MAPPA (Multi-agency public protection arrangements) were not forthcoming either, for then I lodged the petition to the UK Parliament.

Whilst I was silenced, my father was in my life, despite my suffering and unbeknown to me what he was still getting up to as a Sex Offender, I at the very least, knew where he was. There was then an element of ‘living a life’, maybe far from what I could have ever wanted, he was then arrested and sentenced to prison. I remained under Anonymity for his imprisonment and could live an element of a ‘normal life’ as he was in this enclosed environment, whereby I knew he couldn’t get me.

Then he was released…. He was out in the big wide world, only not as my father, but as ‘that unfiltered, sick man’ and now I am not given the privilege of knowing where he is.  So as a Victim / Survivor, I return to living with watching over my shoulder, I return to the sleepless nights of wondering what is the next step.  When you tell me, that he is going to continue his life, he has ‘committed the crime, and served the time’, please do not insult me.

Upon his expiration of his licencing conditions in February 2018, he is free to be where he pleases, around me, if he so wishes.  Of course, I will be reporting him to the police, but as to date he has not committed a criminal offence, that warrants further protection.  Serving a non-molestation order on him, will require knowing his address, well again we enter into the same catch 22 scenario.  I will however not stop, of course I will be continuing my plight for sharpened victim protection, but the point is, why should I, the Victim be having to take all this on, when I have suffered enough.



A petition has been lodged with the UK Government and Parliament, has now been approved, please sign and share this petition to get numbers to take it into debate:

Written by: Mayameen Meftahi – Founder & Survivor

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